Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
