i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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