Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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