I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
