she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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