epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
