I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I wish I only lived at night.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
