no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
