WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
