hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
