even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
