can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
