I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
