She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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