I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Actions speak louder than pants.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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