I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
