Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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