I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
