OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
