She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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