i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
