i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
