His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize