She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
