just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
