none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize