forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I have post one night stand depression
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