Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
