I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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