I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i need some magic done to my vagina
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
