We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
