I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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