Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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