she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize