Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
this boner is exhausting
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
