So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize