what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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