i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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