Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
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He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
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I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.