Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.

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  (626): and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name. http://tfl.nu/n8x4
  Replies (13) Good night (2736) Bad night (680)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.

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  (224): i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study. http://tfl.nu/7goo
  Replies (14) Good night (4146) Bad night (916)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno

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  (727): We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno http://tfl.nu/ajny
  Replies (12) Good night (3842) Bad night (1003)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  What happened to chicks over dicks?

  (1-514): View more from Quebec

  That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..

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  (514): What happened to chicks over dicks? (1-514): That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks.. http://tfl.nu/nat7
  Replies (50) Good night (8466) Bad night (979)
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  (914): View more from New York

  No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?

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  (914): No mixer. Vodka in yogurt? http://tfl.nu/c5w2
  Replies (15) Good night (1186) Bad night (2414)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz

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  (401): Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz http://tfl.nu/2w6v
  Replies (20) Good night (2956) Bad night (980)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"

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  (215): I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!" http://tfl.nu/0rpe
  Replies (19) Good night (2385) Bad night (587)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen

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  (705): I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen http://tfl.nu/714w
  Replies (5) Good night (1060) Bad night (681)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis

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  (860): He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis http://tfl.nu/bzb9
  Replies (4) Good night (976) Bad night (638)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.

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  (541): A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/awme
  Replies (2) Good night (1197) Bad night (499)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.

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  (515): Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type. http://tfl.nu/lvgz
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (564)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.

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  (303): Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place. http://tfl.nu/duki
  Replies (8) Good night (361) Bad night (1103)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I come from her. Holy hell.

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  (404): After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now" (404): I come from her. Holy hell. http://tfl.nu/sgm7
  Replies (13) Good night (3109) Bad night (473)
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  (408): View more from California

  stoners and superglue do NOT mix

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  (408): stoners and superglue do NOT mix http://tfl.nu/84du
  Replies (4) Good night (271) Bad night (367)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.

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  (402): I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween. http://tfl.nu/gen2
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (240)

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