On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes