he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties