Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  plz talk dirty to me

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  (212): plz talk dirty to me http://tfl.nu/4w96
  Replies (11) Good night (2257) Bad night (1149)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'

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  (832): 'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.' http://tfl.nu/5079
  Replies (8) Good night (713) Bad night (2565)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.

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  (724): I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state. http://tfl.nu/piph
  Replies (17) Good night (610) Bad night (3223)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming

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  (425): I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming http://tfl.nu/enr3
  Replies (19) Good night (1023) Bad night (2784)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.

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  (860): i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college. http://tfl.nu/169r
  Replies (81) Good night (8448) Bad night (1198)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.

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  (316): she thought the capital of kansas was topanga. http://tfl.nu/ge7r
  Replies (41) Good night (3853) Bad night (1694)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.

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  (303): Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life. http://tfl.nu/utnc
  Replies (7) Good night (1209) Bad night (4175)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.

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  (850): Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either. http://tfl.nu/w5pa
  Replies (7) Good night (1065) Bad night (2333)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.

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  (706): He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation. http://tfl.nu/vr82
  Replies (18) Good night (885) Bad night (3371)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?

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  (303): I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream? http://tfl.nu/tu1k
  Replies (13) Good night (723) Bad night (1724)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.

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  (403): You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck. http://tfl.nu/6fxi
  Replies (4) Good night (1443) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out

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  (607): just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out http://tfl.nu/axwq
  Replies (5) Good night (1085) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.

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  (443): I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon. http://tfl.nu/q1re
  Replies (4) Good night (1117) Bad night (779)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.

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  (210): Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline. http://tfl.nu/jwnb
  Replies (3) Good night (904) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.

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  (323): I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT. http://tfl.nu/iqjw
  Replies (3) Good night (775) Bad night (320)

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