Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.

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  (818): I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here. http://tfl.nu/5v02
  Replies (19) Good night (811) Bad night (4857)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out

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  (732): feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out http://tfl.nu/y0cc
  Replies (22) Good night (4652) Bad night (1486)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm

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  (717): Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm http://tfl.nu/ao4q
  Replies (38) Good night (4460) Bad night (2013)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.

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  (905): I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room. http://tfl.nu/wji4
  Replies (12) Good night (660) Bad night (4742)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?

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  (414): Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point? http://tfl.nu/qhrq
  Replies (15) Good night (5091) Bad night (1102)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.

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  (352): Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes (1-352): I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos. http://tfl.nu/ch4a
  Replies (13) Good night (7810) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.

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  (303): It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic. http://tfl.nu/yvsq
  Replies (28) Good night (2359) Bad night (4700)
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  (516): View more from New York

  PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.

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  (516): PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated. http://tfl.nu/z915
  Replies (4) Good night (1417) Bad night (510)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.

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  (516): I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology. http://tfl.nu/5jdj
  Replies (6) Good night (573) Bad night (1025)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc

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  (314): I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc http://tfl.nu/aic3
  Replies (3) Good night (926) Bad night (1044)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.

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  (403): We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex. http://tfl.nu/5276
  Replies (9) Good night (1715) Bad night (536)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.

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  (250): There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo. http://tfl.nu/qbed
  Replies (11) Good night (1321) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...

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  (612): He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard... http://tfl.nu/5xwe
  Replies (8) Good night (579) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!

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  (712): Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica! http://tfl.nu/c9lo
  Replies (5) Good night (541) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree

  (1-719): View more from Colorado

  it happenes

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  (719): I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree (1-719): it happenes http://tfl.nu/m4ky
  Replies (1) Good night (821) Bad night (207)

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