Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
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You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
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I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize