it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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