my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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