i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize