when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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