So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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