i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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