apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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