i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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