one two three fourrrrnication!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
