thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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