cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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