Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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