RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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