You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
