He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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