i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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