i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
