my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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