We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
